Two years ago I started writing a blog. Right out of the gate I joined a challenge... write every day about a single topic for the month of October. I had prepared not one thing! I didn't even have a name for the blog.
What's the opposite of quitting cold turkey? Yeah, that's what I did, whatever that's called.
I had toyed with the idea of writing a blog for some time before then, but not with any serious consideration, so when the right name popped into my head, I jumped on in.
And it really was the right name. For the time.
Our children had both left the nest, but then our son, along with his doubly expectant wife, moved back home for a time.
In the space of a couple years our number went from 4 to 3 to 2 to 6. That's how my empty nest became "Not-So-Empty".
Babies are small but they sure do fill up a house, don't they?
But that time has long since passed. They've all gone their own way. As it should be. Or at least as it is. And we are now back to two.
Yes, it's time to move on into another phase of life, and I want the title of this blog to reflect that.
"I Can't Wait To Be Perfect" represents both my renewed focus on the eternal (Heaven help us all when my eyes wander!) and the desire to be unburdened from the crush of perfectionism.
Like any good perfectionist is wont to do, I began second-guessing this change. But then I felt a sense of confirmation that this change was needed when I spent a morning with a wonderful group of friends both old and new, women whom I admire and respect. Women who love God and love Jesus, but who struggle due to the fear that their imperfections disqualify them from having a confident joy.
I can laugh at my neurotic tendencies to be OCD. I can laugh at my bent toward irrational thoughts. But that kind of fear is no joke.
It suffocates every breath of joy. It blinds us from seeing real and significant need. It turns us inward and destroys relationships. I know this because I live this. I fight this fear every single day.
The messages of perfectionism that went into my mind as a child have taken up residence in my heart as an adult. I hope some of you can relate to this. Not that I want there to be a whole lot of hurting people out there, but because I don't want all of this to be a self-indulgent rant.
With that said, I want to assure you of a few things...
I am not giving myself permission to be slap-dash. My intent is to do my best, and even if it turns out badly I will have enjoyed the process.
I will do my best to be authentic. My intent is to acknowledge the imperfections without fault-flaunting. I'm not okay with remaining unchanged nor am I encouraging anyone else to be okay with it.
I will make short stories long. I've heard it said that if a story is worth telling, it is worth exaggerating. I prefer to think of is as dramatic retellings. This is for entertainment value or explanation purposes only, not to deceive.
I opted to change the URL for this blog so that all of what I've posted before now remains intact, but that also means that people who have followed me may have to re-subscribe. I sure hope I haven't lost everyone in the process! I hope they find their way back here. (*NOTE: My husband had to unsubscribe from My Not-So-Empty Nest and then subscribe to I Can't Wait)
Let's move forward even though we know that we're going to make mistakes. I Can't Wait To Be Perfect... and neither can you.